Real Love Frees - Romans 14:1-23

We live in an era of great change. When I was a child we still had a black and white TV and you had to reach out to turn the dial to change the channel not that changing the channels accomplished much...we only had three stations.
I could never have imagined the privileges technological advancement would bring us like the internet, email, smart phones, digital photography, ebooks, mp3 players, 3D LED flat screen TV's, and then there are all of the technical medical advances as well, such as, 3D ultrasounds and magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), the mapping of the human genome, genetic analysis and manipulation.
We are living through the transition from the modern era into the postmodern era. The modern era was dominated by the enlightenment appeal to reason and imagined no end to human progress. The postmodern era is basically the rejection of universal truth through reason. Postmodern thinkers no longer assume progress and influence everything around us from the way children are taught in the classroom to the news we read, hear, and watch, to the TV shows & movies we see.
With all this change it has never been more important for the church to keep up with the changes going on all around it, but managing overwhelming change is an incredibly challenging task.
It is difficult because none of us like change. We prefer the comfort of the familiar. We are content with the status quo.
Over the past century, the sweeping changes have so impacted the world it is impossible for them to not impact the church.
Churches that connect with the resulting transformed culture around them do so through evaluating and adapting to the cultural changes without compromising the gospel.
Churches often go through periods of great upheaval, conflict and loss of membership while seeking to implement change. This occurs because some fail to see the need for change and confuse the way the Christian faith is packaged, presented, and propagated with the person of Jesus Christ.
Let me give you an example. To this day, some Christians, even Churches, refuse to read anything but the King James Bible or allow any other translation to be read from the pulpit.
Some believers have been up in arms against their pastors & leaders for even suggesting moving away from the use of the KJB in public settings.
Or take for example the worship wars of the past three - four decades. Some believers are outraged at the use of contemporary musical styles as a means of worship and communicating the gospel. There are even a handful of scholars that argue that the use of drums is akin to demon worship.
Still other believers are upset by the style of prayer used on Sunday mornings, whether free prayer, silent prayer, traditional pastoral/deacon- lead, concert of prayer, sentence prayer, scriptural prayer, contemplative or meditative prayer.
Whether it's Bible translation, music, or prayer, these all have something in common. People are uncomfortable with change, especially a change they do not like. What happens is, we say, "I don't like this change, I am uncomfortable with this, I do not like how it makes me feel, something must be wrong with this, I want things the way they were."
This attitude is the source of all kinds of problems and every one of us will have to deal with it in our own hearts over something at some point in our lives.
In this series, we are beginning to look at the one another's of the NT which stress the importance of mutual Christian love.
In the one another verse of this passage, Paul speaks a clear note of challenge to us, " Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother" - Romans 14:13 (ESV).
When we say, "I don't like this change, I am uncomfortable with this, I do not like how it makes me feel, something must be wrong with this, I want things the way they were," then we are placing ourselves as arbiters, judges, authorities over everyone else and we are presuming that our position on this situation is right and good and best.
We are not taking the route of love, but digging in and hunkering down to fight for me first. Every one of us needs to get a simple fact about the church into our heads: It's not about me! Say that with me..."It's not about me!" Love is not about me. Love is about another. Paul says, "Let us not pass judgement on one another any longer."
Whenever we put on an attitude which takes a ‘me first’ stance we are putting off the attitude Christ commanded, loving one another, and we are putting on Christ's role as judge.
Whenever we assume, "I'm right about this & I'm gonna make everybody see it my way." We are putting on the role of the weaker brother so we feel inferior, unwanted, even at odds with others, and our defences go into red alert mode.
Another problem with the judgemental attitude is that it does not listen to reason. Let's go back to our examples for just a moment. There are valid points to be considered on either side of debate when it comes to the KJB, contemporary musical styles and types of prayer in worship. If, however, we take on the role of arbiter and judge, then we are not prepared to hear any point of differing opinion. It matters not how valid, well reasoned, truthful, biblical or practical, if our minds are made up to be judge, then we won't hear it because it is not what we want.
Let me give another example. Smalltown Baptist Church had a controversy about the removal of the modesty rail from the stage. A handful of members wanted the modesty rail left alone. They claimed it was not appropriate to remove it as more than just the legs of any female choir members would be exposed to view. This faction would not hear any argument to the contrary no matter how reasonable. The pro-removal majority argued that no woman would reasonably wear anything short enough to expose herself when sitting in the choir. The pro-removal majority also argued that the stage was now too small for the SS children to stand on the stage safely. When the SS children were all on the stage so the whole congregation could see them the smallest children were standing dangerously close to the edge of the stage. The modesty rail faction tried to keep the issue from being dealt with by the trustees even after the deacons directed the trustees attention to the matter and a rather large designated donation came in to facilitate expansion of the stage and removal of the modesty rail. The whole issue finally came to a head at the annual meeting of Smalltown Baptist Church. The faction arguing for keeping the modesty rail was vehemently vocal, but the stage expansion was brought to a vote and the overwhelming majority voted in favour of expanding the stage and removing the modesty rail. A few naysayers left the church because they did not get their way.
I share that illustration with you because it is a prime example of what can happen when we dig in, refuse to listen to reason, and judge our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Modesty rails are carryovers from the days when women's skirts dragged on the ground because it was considered scandalous to show even an ankle. Those days are long gone.
Whenever we allow judging our Christian brothers and sisters over minor details into our relationships, then what we are doing is scandalous.
As Paul wrote, " Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother."
The Greek word translated 'hindrance' in the ESV is the word skandalon from which we take our word scandal. From what Paul says, anytime we play the role of judge because we have a difference of opinion about some minor thing, like what to eat, when to fast, what version of the Bible to read, what music is acceptable, how we are to pray in public, modesty rails, whatever, if we allow that difference of opinion to raise a judgemental attitude, then we are deliberately putting a block to trip over in someone's path, perhaps our own, that leads right into sin.
Whether you're the weaker or the stronger is irrelevant. Who's right and who's wrong is irrelevant. Passing judgement on our brothers and sisters in Christ over things that are not necessary to the gospel is scandalous. Is the wrapping just as important as the gift? No, the facade is never of equal importance to the content of the gospel.
So what are we to do? It's easy for Paul to say "Stop judging one another."
We must allow Christ's love to sensitize our convictions of personal conscience and freedom.
If I love my brothers and sisters in Christ, then I must be willing to give up whatever I might freely do, but which might trip them up causing them to fall into sin.
If the majority of my congregation believes alcohol and tobacco use is wrong, were I to use them and someone from the church see me, I would be putting a stumbling block before this church.
If the pro-modesty rail faction of Smalltown Baptist Church had been thinking about loving their brothers and sisters, instead of themselves, they would not have opposed so strongly so minor a change and accepted the change with humility and respect following the vote.
Paul says, "So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God." - Romans 14:19-20a (ESV)
When we love one another, then we won't rush to sit in judgement over each other. Instead, if we have a difference of opinion we'll have a conversation about it, exploring each others' points, testing their validity, listening to each other, and making sure both sides are heard.
Sometimes the outcome will be agree to disagree. Other times, the outcome will not be so simple. Someone will get their way and someone won't get theirs. In those times we have to do what Paul says and pursue what makes for peace and mutual upbuilding.
When we don't get our way we need to accept it with love and humility.
Toni often reminds me with regard to disciplining our girls, "You've got to pick your battles." We need to have already decided in our minds about what's worth fighting for and what's not.
Mutual love, peace and education among believers is definitely worth pursuing, while judging one another is not.
Many times we are not able to paint things in severe blacks and whites, this way is definitely wrong and this way is definitely right.
When we enter into a situation where there appear to be various shades of grey and there is no clear indication in God's word how to proceed it is then that we need our Christian freedom the most to rely on God for guidance in prayer as we move through it.
When I was younger, I used to relish my Christian freedom, exercising it frequently, without considering the sensitivities of others or my witness in high school and early adulthood. I won't go into the details now, but with time, I came to see the folly in my disregard of others. Today, I understand that real love values and accepts people above my freedom.
When your love is real, you will value and accept people above your freedom.