REAL LOVE ACCEPTS Text: Romans 15:1-9a

Last time we looked at Romans 14 and talked about how real loves frees us from the threat of judgment. We learned that real love values and accepts others above our personal freedom. This week we're going to dig a little deeper as we explore the idea, real love accepts.
Our Scripture for today is Romans 15: 1-9a...
In our Bible text for today, Paul shares with us two more of the 'one another's' of the NT. The first is in verse 5, "May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus" (NLT).
Patience and encouragement refer back to what Paul wrote in verses three & four about the Scriptures. It is the study, meditation, and application of God's Word in our lives that gives us patience and encouragement, but we cannot have them in our own strength.
We have already been reminded that we are no longer to judge each other. Now Paul says, "Don't expect to do it all by yourselves, you can't." He reminds us that it is the person, power, and presence of God in our lives whom by his word helps us live in complete harmony with each other.
If there is to be harmony in the body of Christ, then that harmony only comes to us through the activity of God in our lives as we open our lives to his word. It is the Scriptures that teach us this truth.
If we are not experiencing complete harmony with one another, then is that God's fault?
No, harmony is the result of our dependence upon God and his word. A lack of harmony indicates two things: 1) our relationship with God needs more attention and 2) we need to invest more in applying God's word to our lives.
Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Mat. 11:29-30)
I don't know about you, but sometimes I'm like a mule. I'm saved. I've received the easy yoke of Christ. But sometimes I don't want to go the path Christ directs me. I stubbornly refuse to accept his steering, like a mule I sit down in the middle of the field. When I get like that it doesn't make for harmony. I'm guessing the same is true for you. If we don't live the way God directs, if we want to do our own thing or go our own way, or just relax and be cool, then we are not going to contribute to harmony in the body of Christ. Those around us will not have the harmony God desires for his people and neither will we.
For complete harmony, we need to go deeper in our walk with the Lord and we need to let his word penetrate deeper into our lives.
The second one another is in verse 7, "Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory" (NLT).
When we are no longer judging one another & instead, living in complete harmony with one another, then we will also demonstrate that love through mutual acceptance.
Gladys M. Hunt wrote, "Acceptance means you are valuable just as you are. It allows you to be the real you. You are not forced into someone else's idea of who you are. It means your ideas are taken seriously since they reflect you. You can talk about how you feel inside, why you feel that way, and someone really cares. Acceptance means you can try out your ideal without being shot down. You can even express heretical thoughts and discuss them with intelligent questioning. You feel safe. No one will pronounce judgment on you even though they don't agree with you. It doesn't mean you'll never be corrected or shown to be wrong. I simply means it's safe to be you and no one will destroy you out of prejudice" (Swindoll, The Tale of the Tardy Oxcart, p. 3).
Why did Paul tell his readers that they must accept one another?
Paul told his readers to accept one another as Christ accepted them.
The God and Father of our Lord Jesus accepted us with open arms through the atoning death of his Son. When we understand that God accepts us as we are, as unloving, self-centered, and sinful as we were when we came to him, then will accept one another.
Mary Ann Byrd grew up knowing she was different. As she writes, "And I hated it. I was born with a cleft palate, and when I started school my classmates made it clear to me how I looked to others: a little girl with a misshapen lip, crooked nose, lopsided teeth, and garbled teeth. When schoolmates asked, 'What happened to your lip?' I'd tell them I'd fallen and cut it on a piece of glass. Somehow it seemed more acceptable to have suffered an accident than to have been born different. I was convinced that no one outside my family could love me. There was, however, a teacher in the second grade whom we all adored--Mrs. Leonard. She was short, round happy--a sparkling lady. Annually, we had a hearing test...Mrs. Leonard gave the test to everyone in the class, and finally it was my turn. I knew from past years that as we stood against the door and covered one ear, the teacher, sitting at her desk, would whisper something, and we would have to repeat it back--things like, 'The sky is blue,' or 'Do you have new shoes?' I waited there for those words that God must have put into her mouth, those seven words that changed my life. Mrs. Leonard said, in her whisper, 'I wish you were my little girl.'" (Fresh Illustrations for Preaching & Teaching, p. 8)
That's the kind of unconditional accepting love God shows us and it is also exactly the kind of unconditional accepting love he expects us to learn to show one another.
By this mutual acceptance Paul boldly states that God will be given glory. The glory he mentions is the glory Jesus revealed when he gave the new commandment and said, "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."
The church of Rome in Paul's day was a real mixed bag. There were people of every walk of life: rich & poor, slave & free, Jew and Gentile. Such a varied group needed the love of Christ expressed without discrimination or favouritism.
Why did Paul tell his readers that they must accept one another?
Paul also told his readers to accept one another so that the church will have one voice to give praise and glory to God, both Jew and Gentile. Harmony and acceptance within the body of Christ proclaims to the world that the love of Christ is real, and present in his church, and available to all. Real love accepts everyone, no matter who they are, what their background, or where they are from, so the resulting harmony glorifies God.
Bruce Larson penned an anecdote I'd like to share with you.
"Did you ever feel like a frog? Frogs feel slow, low, ugly, puffy, drooped, pooped. One told me. The frog feeling comes when you want to be bright, but feel dumb, when you want to share, but are selfish, when you want to feel thankful, but feel resentment, when you want to be great, but are small, when you want to care, but are indifferent. Yes, at one time or another each of us has found himself on a lily pad, floating down the great river of life. Frightened and disgusted, we're too froggish to budge. Once upon a time there was a frog, only he wasn't really a frog, he was a prince who looked and felt like a frog. The wicked witch has cast a spell on him and only the kiss of a beautiful maiden could save him. But since when do cute chicks kiss frogs? So there he sat, an unkissed prince in frog form. One day a beautiful maiden gathered him up and gave him a big smack! Zap!! There he was, a frog turned handsome prince and they lived happily after. So what's the task of the Christian? Kissing frogs, of course!" (Bruce Larson in Swindoll, The Tale of the Tardy Oxcart, p. 5)
As we go about really loving one another, God does the work of transforming us from our ugly froggish states into people who reflect his glory and beauty. Real love accepts others, no matter what.
When your love is real, you accept everyone of every background and together glorify God.

Real Love Frees - Romans 14:1-23

We live in an era of great change. When I was a child we still had a black and white TV and you had to reach out to turn the dial to change the channel not that changing the channels accomplished much...we only had three stations.
I could never have imagined the privileges technological advancement would bring us like the internet, email, smart phones, digital photography, ebooks, mp3 players, 3D LED flat screen TV's, and then there are all of the technical medical advances as well, such as, 3D ultrasounds and magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), the mapping of the human genome, genetic analysis and manipulation.
We are living through the transition from the modern era into the postmodern era. The modern era was dominated by the enlightenment appeal to reason and imagined no end to human progress. The postmodern era is basically the rejection of universal truth through reason. Postmodern thinkers no longer assume progress and influence everything around us from the way children are taught in the classroom to the news we read, hear, and watch, to the TV shows & movies we see.
With all this change it has never been more important for the church to keep up with the changes going on all around it, but managing overwhelming change is an incredibly challenging task.
It is difficult because none of us like change. We prefer the comfort of the familiar. We are content with the status quo.
Over the past century, the sweeping changes have so impacted the world it is impossible for them to not impact the church.
Churches that connect with the resulting transformed culture around them do so through evaluating and adapting to the cultural changes without compromising the gospel.
Churches often go through periods of great upheaval, conflict and loss of membership while seeking to implement change. This occurs because some fail to see the need for change and confuse the way the Christian faith is packaged, presented, and propagated with the person of Jesus Christ.
Let me give you an example. To this day, some Christians, even Churches, refuse to read anything but the King James Bible or allow any other translation to be read from the pulpit.
Some believers have been up in arms against their pastors & leaders for even suggesting moving away from the use of the KJB in public settings.
Or take for example the worship wars of the past three - four decades. Some believers are outraged at the use of contemporary musical styles as a means of worship and communicating the gospel. There are even a handful of scholars that argue that the use of drums is akin to demon worship.
Still other believers are upset by the style of prayer used on Sunday mornings, whether free prayer, silent prayer, traditional pastoral/deacon- lead, concert of prayer, sentence prayer, scriptural prayer, contemplative or meditative prayer.
Whether it's Bible translation, music, or prayer, these all have something in common. People are uncomfortable with change, especially a change they do not like. What happens is, we say, "I don't like this change, I am uncomfortable with this, I do not like how it makes me feel, something must be wrong with this, I want things the way they were."
This attitude is the source of all kinds of problems and every one of us will have to deal with it in our own hearts over something at some point in our lives.
In this series, we are beginning to look at the one another's of the NT which stress the importance of mutual Christian love.
In the one another verse of this passage, Paul speaks a clear note of challenge to us, " Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother" - Romans 14:13 (ESV).
When we say, "I don't like this change, I am uncomfortable with this, I do not like how it makes me feel, something must be wrong with this, I want things the way they were," then we are placing ourselves as arbiters, judges, authorities over everyone else and we are presuming that our position on this situation is right and good and best.
We are not taking the route of love, but digging in and hunkering down to fight for me first. Every one of us needs to get a simple fact about the church into our heads: It's not about me! Say that with me..."It's not about me!" Love is not about me. Love is about another. Paul says, "Let us not pass judgement on one another any longer."
Whenever we put on an attitude which takes a ‘me first’ stance we are putting off the attitude Christ commanded, loving one another, and we are putting on Christ's role as judge.
Whenever we assume, "I'm right about this & I'm gonna make everybody see it my way." We are putting on the role of the weaker brother so we feel inferior, unwanted, even at odds with others, and our defences go into red alert mode.
Another problem with the judgemental attitude is that it does not listen to reason. Let's go back to our examples for just a moment. There are valid points to be considered on either side of debate when it comes to the KJB, contemporary musical styles and types of prayer in worship. If, however, we take on the role of arbiter and judge, then we are not prepared to hear any point of differing opinion. It matters not how valid, well reasoned, truthful, biblical or practical, if our minds are made up to be judge, then we won't hear it because it is not what we want.
Let me give another example. Smalltown Baptist Church had a controversy about the removal of the modesty rail from the stage. A handful of members wanted the modesty rail left alone. They claimed it was not appropriate to remove it as more than just the legs of any female choir members would be exposed to view. This faction would not hear any argument to the contrary no matter how reasonable. The pro-removal majority argued that no woman would reasonably wear anything short enough to expose herself when sitting in the choir. The pro-removal majority also argued that the stage was now too small for the SS children to stand on the stage safely. When the SS children were all on the stage so the whole congregation could see them the smallest children were standing dangerously close to the edge of the stage. The modesty rail faction tried to keep the issue from being dealt with by the trustees even after the deacons directed the trustees attention to the matter and a rather large designated donation came in to facilitate expansion of the stage and removal of the modesty rail. The whole issue finally came to a head at the annual meeting of Smalltown Baptist Church. The faction arguing for keeping the modesty rail was vehemently vocal, but the stage expansion was brought to a vote and the overwhelming majority voted in favour of expanding the stage and removing the modesty rail. A few naysayers left the church because they did not get their way.
I share that illustration with you because it is a prime example of what can happen when we dig in, refuse to listen to reason, and judge our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Modesty rails are carryovers from the days when women's skirts dragged on the ground because it was considered scandalous to show even an ankle. Those days are long gone.
Whenever we allow judging our Christian brothers and sisters over minor details into our relationships, then what we are doing is scandalous.
As Paul wrote, " Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother."
The Greek word translated 'hindrance' in the ESV is the word skandalon from which we take our word scandal. From what Paul says, anytime we play the role of judge because we have a difference of opinion about some minor thing, like what to eat, when to fast, what version of the Bible to read, what music is acceptable, how we are to pray in public, modesty rails, whatever, if we allow that difference of opinion to raise a judgemental attitude, then we are deliberately putting a block to trip over in someone's path, perhaps our own, that leads right into sin.
Whether you're the weaker or the stronger is irrelevant. Who's right and who's wrong is irrelevant. Passing judgement on our brothers and sisters in Christ over things that are not necessary to the gospel is scandalous. Is the wrapping just as important as the gift? No, the facade is never of equal importance to the content of the gospel.
So what are we to do? It's easy for Paul to say "Stop judging one another."
We must allow Christ's love to sensitize our convictions of personal conscience and freedom.
If I love my brothers and sisters in Christ, then I must be willing to give up whatever I might freely do, but which might trip them up causing them to fall into sin.
If the majority of my congregation believes alcohol and tobacco use is wrong, were I to use them and someone from the church see me, I would be putting a stumbling block before this church.
If the pro-modesty rail faction of Smalltown Baptist Church had been thinking about loving their brothers and sisters, instead of themselves, they would not have opposed so strongly so minor a change and accepted the change with humility and respect following the vote.
Paul says, "So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God." - Romans 14:19-20a (ESV)
When we love one another, then we won't rush to sit in judgement over each other. Instead, if we have a difference of opinion we'll have a conversation about it, exploring each others' points, testing their validity, listening to each other, and making sure both sides are heard.
Sometimes the outcome will be agree to disagree. Other times, the outcome will not be so simple. Someone will get their way and someone won't get theirs. In those times we have to do what Paul says and pursue what makes for peace and mutual upbuilding.
When we don't get our way we need to accept it with love and humility.
Toni often reminds me with regard to disciplining our girls, "You've got to pick your battles." We need to have already decided in our minds about what's worth fighting for and what's not.
Mutual love, peace and education among believers is definitely worth pursuing, while judging one another is not.
Many times we are not able to paint things in severe blacks and whites, this way is definitely wrong and this way is definitely right.
When we enter into a situation where there appear to be various shades of grey and there is no clear indication in God's word how to proceed it is then that we need our Christian freedom the most to rely on God for guidance in prayer as we move through it.
When I was younger, I used to relish my Christian freedom, exercising it frequently, without considering the sensitivities of others or my witness in high school and early adulthood. I won't go into the details now, but with time, I came to see the folly in my disregard of others. Today, I understand that real love values and accepts people above my freedom.
When your love is real, you will value and accept people above your freedom.

Real Love Shows, Romans 12:9-21

Last week we discovered that real love sacrifices self.  We saw how Jesus' life and message is totally contrary to the message of Western culture that says, "always follow your heart, if it feels good, do it," and so forth.  But living like that does not work in the real world.  All around us is the evidence of the damage caused by uncontrolled desire gone wild.

We see the breakdown of marriage and the family, both in the church & the world, in divorce, domestic violence, abuse, etc., which results in fewer marriages, lower birth rates, rising mental illness, & a lost sense of community and belonging.

We see the rise of scepticism toward the Bible, which claims that being a sceptic is the same as being an intellectual while implying that believing the Bible is not rational or anti-intellectual.  Everywhere there are doubters who have fallen for the serpent's original trick of deceit, who echo his words, "Did God really say...?"   That kind of talk just glorifies the ego of the one producing it.

We see increased greed in individuals, corporations, and governments.  The bottom line has become the be all, end all.  Many people and businesses focus on profit alone, which leads to job cuts, homelessness, and a host of other issues.  Such greed lends itself to corruption and entitlement at all levels of government as well.

Only Jesus presents us with a solution.  Jesus' self-sacrificial death on a cross not only gives us a pattern to follow, but power to enter into the process of becoming like Jesus because he lives.

Last week I asked, "If real love sacrifices self, then how can we begin to love with the self-sacrificial love of Jesus? What does it look like?

Paul describes what real love looks like in Roman 12:9-21 (Read).

What does Paul tell his readers about real love?  Real love is shown in attitudes and in actions.  I believe that is what Paul was getting at in this text.

There are three one another's in this passage. "Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other" (v. 10) & verse 16a "Live in harmony with each other."

From what Paul says: Real love is not make-believe.  Real love is not about pretending.  Real love is about showing brotherly love in attitude and action as is appropriate for people who belong together in God's household.

For Paul, those who have grasped the message of Jesus sacrificial love will hate anything less than self sacrificing love, recognising that shallow displays of love are not love at all, but the opposite; cold, cruel indifference.

Real love goes beyond merely being polite.  Real love goes deeper by investing, time, energy, and money into the lives of others for what is God's best for them. When we really love others, we will seek to build up & encourage, as well as, gently guiding them away from attitudes and actions which fall short of God's standard.

Real love includes treating others with respect.  When we respect others it is bound to show because we respect those of whom we have high opinions, we value, & admire.  When we respect others we treat them well.  In fact, we want to make sure that person is not ignored or disregarded. 

Respect also contributes to a harmonious atmosphere.  When we are respectful of others we won't behave in ways that communicate that we are self important know-it-all's.  Instead, we will think more highly of others than ourselves and honour others above ourselves as Paul said.

Real love stays focused on the ultimate recipient of our love, Jesus, even while loving others.  Jesus is the source of our spiritual energy, enthusiasm, or zeal.  If we lose sight of him, then our expressions of love to each other, as we serve, lose their energy.  We begin to look only at the imperfect fallen people we serve and become caught up in the imperfection and sin around us and within us.  We become lazy, discouraged, depressed, and negative.

Real love keeps Jesus in view by celebrating the hope we have in him, facing the momentary troubles of this brief life with patience, and cultivating the heart and mind to take a continual orientation to prayer.

This devotion should stir us up so that when we see a need among our Christian siblings real love will motivate us to meet that need or find ways to see the need met.

When we meet needs in our home, then we are practicing hospitality whether hosting a guest of the church or a member of the church.  When we receive someone into our home to meet a need it is the same as welcoming and entertaining Christ (Mat. 25:40).

In this passage, Paul not only deals with how real love should be demonstrated in the body of Christ, but also to those outside the fellowship of believers.

If we want the hostile world to stand up and take notice of our faith it needs to be demonstrated to them by the way we love.

When they realise that we have real love for each other, as well as them, then they have the opportunity to connect with the truth about the Christian faith.  Real love means real faith in the real God, who really sent his Son to really die, and who is really alive.

Paul charges believers to show their love to the world in several ways.

The believer is not to repay evil with more evil.  One cannot hate evil and use it as a means of payback at the same time.  Instead, the believer is to live an honourable life by doing what is right and doing all she/he can to live at peace with everyone.  The believer is not to be the cause or source of quarrelling, arguing or dissention.  Refuse to allow yourself to be an instigator of strife.

When the believer grows a reputation as a peacemaker that may result in others taking advantage.  According to Paul, when the believer is taken advantage of he/she must not retaliate in vengeance.  Just as the Scriptures say, "'Revenge belongs to me.  I will get payback,' says God." 

Revenge is an attempt to take control of God's role as judge, but it's not up to us to play God.  Revenge not only puts us in God's chair, it often has nasty consequences because it is taken out of a sense of anger and with the idea that said person owes me.

If the believer is not to take revenge, then what must be done?

"Repay evil with good," says Paul.  Whoever is out to get you, if they are hungry, give them food, if they are thirsty, give them drink.  When you do, you heap burning coals on their heads.

That Paul's motivation in using the illustration of  burning coals is one of love should be fairly obvious.  What is not so obvious is the meaning.

For many years, I have pondered the words of one commentator about the heaping up of burning coals on the head.  This fellow told of how in ancient times if one allowed her cook fire to die out she would place a pan on her head and go about under the windows of her neighbours who would heap hot coals from their own cook fires in the pan.  From the goodness of her neighbours, the one whose fire went out would soon return home with coals enough to rekindle the fire and to spare.

By doing good to those who seek to wrong us, believers are demonstrating God's love by treating others in ways they do not deserve to be treated. In this, the believer is also cooperating with God to bring opportunity for the offender to be convicted of wrongdoing that they may turn to God in repentance and faith.

What does Paul tell his readers about real love? Real love is shown in attitudes and in actions.  We must show real love to one another and we must show real love to the world if the world is to believe.

Dr. Ron Sider tells the story of his uncle Jesse and aunt Lydia, whom, after five happy years of marriage and the birth of their second child, mental illness invaded their lives.  After years of struggling to care for his increasingly confused and disoriented wife, uncle Jesse had place her into a mental institution.  Doctors told him to start over, but not uncle Jesse, Lydia was part of him.   He chose to see the beautiful, wonderful woman she once was instead of the pitiful shell of a woman she tragically became.  For almost thirty years uncle Jesse made the two hour weekly drive.  In 1953, doctors proposed a lobotomy, with time and proper medication, Lydia was able to return home.  For three years, Jesse cared for her at home.  One day, however, Lydia became seriously ill.  It was due to the lobotomy that she was unable to feel the pain that would have queued an acute appendicitis.  Once a woman of faith, she became religiously indifferent through her illness.  Surprisingly, Lydia asked Jesse, "Would you pray for me?"  Jesse agreed, "Sure, I'll pray for you!"  The next day she died. (Adapted from Dr. Ronald J. Sider, Genuine Christianity)

Dr. Sider reveals that it was uncle Jesse's firm belief that love is a commitment and not merely a feeling. This love motivated his faithfulness over the course of the many years of his marriage.

To uncle Jesse, as well as, the apostle Paul, real love shows!  It shows in all our relationships.  Real love shows in our families.  Real love shows at work.  Real love shows in or testimony to the world.  It shows in our attitudes and our actions.

When your love is real, it shows in what you say and what you do.