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In 1975, tennis great Arthur Ashe
was playing the arrogant and rude Ilie Nastase, nicknamed "Nasty "
Nastase because he was so hot-tempered on the tennis court. It was the Masters Tournament in Stockholm,
Sweden. Nastase was at his worst that day, stalling, cursing, taunting, and
acting like a madman. Finally, Ashe put
down his racket and walked off the court, saying, "I've had enough. I'm at
the point where I'm afraid I'll lose control."
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The umpire yelled, "If you
leave the court, you'll forfeit the match."
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Ashe replied, "I don't care.
I'd rather lose that than my
self-respect."
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The next day the tournament committee
came to a surprising solution. Refusing to ignore Nastase's bullying tactics,
they insisted that Nastase default the match for his unsportsmanlike conduct.
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That day, Ashe won not only in the
game of tennis, but also in the game of life.
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How many of us would have the
self-respect and nerve to forfeit a match when in the right and the other
person clearly in the wrong?
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How many of us would be willing to lose money
and risk our future on one match?
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Ashe knew that if he continued to
play against Nastase in that game he would have lost his self-control and
self-respect.
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Ashe is an example of character
shown through self-discipline, while Nastase is an example of the
self-destruction which occurs when our attitudes and actions go unchecked.
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In Proverbs, Solomon was concerned
that his son learned self-discipline for, "Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true
knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline" (Prov. 1:7, NLT).
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Without self-discipline, I
self-destruct; when I fear God, I'll learn self-discipline.
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Solomon tells us that, "A person who lacks self-control is
like a city with broken down walls" (Proverbs 25:28, NLT).
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It's important for us to understand
why Solomon compares someone who lacks self-discipline to a city with broken
down walls.
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Much of the ancient world was ruled
by city states, so walls were their first line of defense.
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Imagine how difficult it would be to
defend a city with broken down walls. Bandits, rebels or invaders could come
and go as they pleased. Such a city would be defenceless, weak, and easily
overwhelmed.
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Now, imagine how that relates to a
lack of self-discipline. Without the spiritual, mental and emotional structures
of integrity and character to guide our attitudes and our actions, why, our
lives are open to all kinds of self-destructive behaviors.
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Without
self-control or self-discipline, we become ruled by our appetites, impulses or
desires.
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The difficulty with feeding our
appetites is: the more we feed them, the more we crave.
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E.g., some hunger for a better
marriage, so instead of working on the one they're in, they divorce and try another,
but soon they discover the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence.
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One failed relationship leads to
another failed relationship.
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Proverbs tells us again and again
why things like this happen.
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It is because we are impatient and
act rashly or in haste instead of exercising wisdom and acting out of
self-discipline or self-control.
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Proverbs 20:25 warns that making a
rash promise and only later counting the cost is a trap.
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Proverbs 21:5 warns that hasty
shortcuts lead to poverty.
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Proverbs 25:8-10 cautions against
being in a hurry to go to court because you may lose your reputation.
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Proverbs 29:20 cautions that when we
speak without thinking we end up looking like a fool.
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Proverbs 12:16 warns against being
quick-tempered over an insult.
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Proverbs 14:29 cautions against the
foolishness of a hot temper and that people of understanding control their anger.
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Proverbs 15:18 warns that a hot
tempered person constantly stirs up fights, while a cool tempered person calms
disagreements.
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Proverbs also warns against the
excesses of drinking too much alcohol or eating too much food.
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Proverbs 20:1 cautions that drinking
to excess leads to mocking and brawling.
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And Proverbs 23:20-21 warns that
excessive eating and drinking can bring your life to rags and ruin.
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When we fail to exercise
self-control or self-discipline, we become enslaved to our appetites, desires,
and impulses.
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However, God tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love and love
exercises self-discipline or self-control.
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Galatians 5:22-23 tells us,
"the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy,
peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and
self-control. There is no law against
these things!
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We are also told in God's Word that
"wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Cor. 3:17).
Freedom comes from self-discipline.
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Bernard
Baruch, financier, statesman, and advisor to
Presidents Wilson and Roosevelt, said that "in the last analysis, our
only freedom is the freedom to discipline ourselves."
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Baruch also said, "Whatever
failures I have known, whatever errors I have committed, whatever follies I
have witnessed in private and public life have been the consequence of action
without thought."
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Baruch would agree that
self-discipline frees us from all kinds of self-destructive actions and
attitudes, which not only harm ourselves, but others as well.
o When our lives are ruled by the Holy Spirit, we are set free from
slavery to our appetites, desires, and impulses and can choose to love others
through self-discipline.
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Without self-discipline, I
self-destruct; when I fear God, I'll learn self-discipline.
o "D. L. Moody was the Billy Graham of the 19th century. He had
a quick temper, which was something he continually had to guard against.
o "One evening, he was conducting two evangelistic services,
one right after the other. In between the services, Moody was standing near the
door, welcoming people as they came in. A man approached him and said something
to Moody that was offensive and deeply insulting. Moody never repeated to
anyone what the man had said. But in a sudden fit of anger, Moody shoved the
man, sending him head over heels down a short flight of steps.
o "The man was not injured, but those who saw it wondered how
Moody could possibly recover to preach another evangelistic service after such
an alarming lapse of control. All the people who saw it would have trouble
listening to anything Moody might say.
o "But Moody recovered his composure, called the meeting to
order, and with a trembling voice said: 'Friends, before the meeting tonight I
want to confess that I yielded just now to my temper, out in the hall, and have
done wrong. Just as I was coming in here tonight, I lost my temper with a man.
I want to confess my wrong before you all, and if that man is present here whom
I thrust away in anger, I want to ask his forgiveness and God's. Let's pray.'
o "Instead of a lost cause, the meeting seemed unusually
touched that night with the power of the Holy Spirit, and many people came to
Christ."
o This account from Moody's life reveals many things to us.
o It tells us we must always be on guard against a lack of
self-discipline.
o It tells us how easy it is and how quickly we can lose our
reputation and our stage for ministry to others.
o It tells us the only thing to do after such a lapse of
self-discipline is openly confess and repent before God and others.
o It also tells us that God is able to use anyone who repents of
their sin and experiences his forgiveness.
o How should we apply
God's Word to our lives?
o #1. Ask yourself if you have a tendency to speak or act before
thinking. Commit to learning to look
before you leap.
o #2. Ask yourself about whether or not the last time you got angry
your anger was either justified or your response was appropriate. Commit to learning patience.
o #3. Ask yourself whether or not you exercise appropriate self-control
over food and drink or anything else you might do to excess, like television or
the internet. Commit to learning how to
exercise moderation.
o In all three of these areas, a prayer partner or spiritual
accountability partner would be extremely helpful. God didn't make us to walk
alone. Many of the struggles we face require fellowship to overcome.
o Let's
remember: "A person who lacks self-control is like a city with broken down
walls" (Proverbs 25:28, NLT).
o The
Holy Spirit produces in us fruit in keeping with self-discipline, which frees
us to love greater.
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Without self-discipline, I
self-destruct; when I fear God, I'll learn self-discipline.
